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Sidney Andrews | Retired Nurse, Author and Motivational Speaker.

The Effects of Negative Thinking
    Refinement of our thoughts is likened to cleaning out the closet and getting rid of clothes that no longer fit, serve the purpose, and are outdated or worn. So it is with our thought filled minds. If we are to live our best life, we must unload the negative thoughts that no longer contribute to our living the life we envision for ourselves.

    Save your best clothes and preserve your best thoughts. Make room for the new and improved, self thinking, independent and loving you.

    Some of us have stepped out of the closet and brought our old worn out, moldy and outdated, trappings with us, in the form of negative thoughts. After all, cleaning closets isn't for sissies, as parting with the old and familiar, even though useless and limiting, are habits hard to break; yet to become more of who we are, or choose to be, it’s quite necessary.

    Negative thinking about self or others has an insidious effect on ones life. It’s a gradual accumulation of destructive thoughts that become a habitual way of thinking, talking, and acting. Then, one day we wake up and realize (if we haven't already), the life we dreamed or planned out for ourselves, never materialized. Somehow we allowed years of negative thinking and self talk to convince us we're not smart, worthy, brave, strong or prepared enough, to achieve the personal or professional success we've dreamed of.

    Robert Schuller, well known evangelist said “Negative thinking is deadly!” He’s absolutely right, because negative thinking deadens our desires and kills our dreams and aspirations. Negative thinking robs us of our self-esteem, self-worth, self-love, self-respect, and self-confidence. Who of us would be content to settle for less than the best life has to offer us? Yet we do, don't we? At some time or other, we tossed out our own dreams in favor of living someone else’s dream for us, and when we found ourselves empty handed and short changed, we blamed everyone and everything around us, for what we, unknowingly allowed to transpire.

    Whether it was fear of confrontation, rejection, ridicule, rocking the boat, lacking in self-esteem, or self worth, we handed over the key to the door that unlocks all our personal longings and secret dreams.

    Whatever the reason, we gave our power away convinced others knew us better then we knew ourselves, and as a result we settled for less than the best life has to offer.
    It’s time to rid ourselves of this preoccupation of what others think of, or about us, what we're doing, should be doing, or aren't doing. Pause for a moment and ask yourself:

  •     What in my thoughts is keeping me from experiencing love, laughter, joy and even bliss, in my life?
  •     What part of me have I sacrificed, to please and make everything right for everyone else in my life?
  •     How many times have I said yes when I wanted to say no, out of fear of what someone might think?
  •     How often have I regretted not speaking the truth about who I am, out of fear?
  •     Why don't I feel that I matter and deserve better?

    These are tough questions only each of us can answer of ourselves, if we are to live our authentic truth and best life.

    There are no fences, walls, or anything or anyone outside ourselves that can limit our potential to live a life rich with opportunity, fulfill our dreams, and become the creator of our own life story. The one and only obstacle in our way are the thoughts we entertain.

    Each of us is made up of boundless, spiritual energy just waiting to be awakened in us. Are you ready to trust and have faith, that if you get out of your own way, there will be a solid foundation to stand on that will not be shaken by any storm?

    What happens as we awaken and realize the rewards of being and living our authentic truth, whatever that truth might be, we light the way for others to follow. We become like a lighthouse that stands firm on solid rock, defying the fury of the elements, forever beckoning, directing, and guiding all ships to safety with the pulsing of her light.

    We as a GLBTQ community can be the light that reaches out into the darkness to show the way to others who, like us, desire to know that within them is an indomitable spirit that serves as a guide to our inner most thoughts, and, for the asking, will help us transform our thoughts into those that will reinforce and strengthen our resolve to live the life we intend or have intended for us.

    Be self propelled, believing, daring, and un-afraid on your journey. In and under all circumstances, be authentically YOU!
"Save your best clothes and preserve your best thoughts. Make room for the new and improved, self thinking, independent and loving you."
Sidney Andrews
Can We Have it All?
Absolutely! The secret is in living from the inside out! To live a spiritually directed life and not a life directed or determined by outer circumstances, problems and obstacles. I discovered this gem when I was faced with the choice to live my authentic truth, in spite of the odds, pain, difficulty and decisions that had to be made. It was a life changing struggle that opened the doors to a journey unexpected, yet more rewarding than I ever could have imagined. Had I succumbed to outer influences, I would have lost myself in everyone else’s dream, vision and goal for my life and in the process, lost me.

My saving Grace was awakening to the realization that there is nothing more powerful then love, truth, faith and the indomitable spirit within. What is having it all, if not to experience an inner peace and joy that cannot be  threatened, shaken, or ignored? Having it all is the knowing we are 100% totally responsible for living our best life, and understanding that nothing outside of us can diminish who we are, unless we allow it to!

We are here, I believe, to heal ourselves and the world around us. Problems and obstacles are the gifts we create for ourselves and our learning so we might, in turn, be an example of overcoming the stumbling blocks in life. No blame, no excuses, no denials, just the realization that we each create our failures or successes, with every single thought we entertain. To quote author Wayne Dyer “Change Your Thoughts and Change Your World.”

If our thoughts are negative, they will be self-destructive and surely keep us from living the
life we envision for ourselves. The same is true of the negative thoughts and chatter that come from the outside, be it from family, friends, store cashier, or the news media. If your thoughts are not lifting you up, they are bringing you down. If your thoughts are old, moldy and not serving your best interest today, it’s time to re-think the old programming.

It may be difficult to change your thoughts, but it’s far more difficult to live a life of lack, limitation and regrets. You and I are equipped by virtue of spirit, or the essence of who we are, to overcome any and all inner and outer negative influences that would stunt our growth. Only you can set yourself free to be and live your best life.

For me, having it all was the result of an inward journey that revealed having it all is possible given our perception of who we really are. To live from "I am spirit," is having it all! We but need to look around us to see that it’s not things or money that brings us lasting peace and joy; rather, it is the thoughts we entertain during our waking hours.

I speak from an ageless spirit, that dwells in a body aged 70 plus. At any age each day is a gift, spelled opportunity; an opportunity to expand our thinking. Having it all comes from nourishing your spirit, believing in yourself and recognizing the value of your worth whatever your age may be.

“Your thoughts are the foundation your life rests upon, as you change your thoughts the direction of your life’s journey changes as well.”
“Your thoughts are the foundation your life rests upon, as you change your thoughts the direction of your life’s journey changes as well.”
Sidney Andrews
Don't Settle for Less at Any Age
The quality of your life experience, regardless of your age, is determined by your willingness to say YES to life. Is it always easy? No! It takes courage and belief in yourself to change, leave your comfort zone, pursue a new path, idea, job, or relationship, because with change comes responsibility. Begin asking yourself what you fear most: continuing to live a life void of satisfaction, happiness, fulfillment and love, or is it the fear of change that stops you from choosing to live your best life and authentic truth.

If you're living your best life, there's nothing you need do, is there? How ever if you still find yourself longing for more, you can do one of two things:

1. You can live your life in quiet desperation by settling for what is and has always been.
2. You can choose in favor of living life fully, with a sense of purpose and meaning.

Robert Schuller once said "It takes guts to leave ruts" and if you've ever tried to leave your comfort zone, you've realized that for yourself. I know I did! In the final analysis, the measure of your courage to break the old mold, will be the measure of your self-worth. If you feel good about yourself, you will attract all that is good in you and also give the best of who you are. If you feel insecure, non-trusting and vulnerable to life's events and situations, likewise, you will attract those people, places and events that will contribute to your vulnerabilities.
Whether 20, 40, 60, 80 and beyond, always see yourself as an invincible spirit, capable of living from a source that never runs out. Sure you'll age, we all do, thank God when you think of the alternative, but that doesn't mean you have to be defined by your age. When you live from the world behind your eyes, life, living, and years take on a different meaning. You make a conscious choice not to be manipulated or controlled by the gloom and doom forecasts; you choose to create your own reality by being and living fully in each moment.

Your car may run out of gas, you may run out of milk, or even money; however, you can never run out of the essence or the spirit you are. Whom ever you are, and whatever your age, cultivate love of yourself and others, replace outdated thoughts that no longer serve you, with positive, uplifting and life giving thoughts that breathe strength and peace into your body and mind. Choose to replace thoughts of fear, with those of faith and opt for peace rather than reacting to life's circumstances. If you've grown out of touch with the authentic you, it's because you've grown out of touch with your spirit.

Don't settle for less than the best life has to offer, and don't love or value yourself less, then you do others.
“Choose to replace thoughts of fear, with those of faith and opt for peace rather than reacting to life's circumstances.”
Sidney Andrews
Dare to Love Yourself and Live Your Best Life
Once upon a time you may have been told that loving yourself was being egotistical,selfish, or even vain. The rule of thumb was you had to love others first, yet how can you give to someone else, what you don't possess yourself?  How you think, see and feel about the person you are, is what you will attract to yourself.

The quality of your life experience, including your love life, will be determined by your willingness to toss aside any preconceived notions about the negative connotations, that go along with the meaning of self love. Living your best life depends on it! Finding authentic love and holding onto it, will demand your being the love you want to attract. 

To live an authentic life, you must recognize that you have worth, matter and deserve to live a life filled with the kind of lasting love that you long for. The only obstacle standing in your way to living your best, love filled life, are the thoughts you entertain. If you don't feel you're good enough, smart enough, attractive enough or entitled to all that you envision or dream your life to be, it's because you really don't know how to love yourself.

Anyone else's thought of, or about, you are a dime a dozen and carry no weight unless you give them meaning.
  • If anyone is going to change your thoughts on how you can come to know and love yourself, let it be you!
  • If anyone is going to shape your life, let it be you!
  • If you find yourself at a crossroad and aren't sure which path to choose, look within to your own wellspring of power and strength for the answer.

Never tell yourself that you are not enough! Don't settle for a life or a let's pretend everything's alright kind of existence, where there's no room for growth, or an opportunity to live your best life. Artificial plants are one thing, but living an artificial life, is living no life at all.

You are love encapsulated! You need but to awaken to the truth that loving yourself and embracing all that you are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually is a right you were given the day you were born.  Dare to share the full and complete gift that you are with those you meet along the way. Always, in all ways, be authentically you! Now you have a choice to make don't you? Go within and love yourself, or deny yourself and go without. Go for it, life and love are waiting for you!

Sidney Andrews: Author of "A Fall to New Heights" and "Journey into Thought" Awakening to Spirit.
“Your thoughts are the makers, breakers,
shakers and moving force behind living your best life.”
Sidney Andrews